Before I Was A Mom...

Before I was a Mom;
I made and ate hot meals,
I had unstained clothing,
I brushed my hair every day,
I had quiet conversations on the phone,
I slept as late as I wanted and I slept all night long.

Before I was a Mom;
I cleaned my house each day,
I never tripped over toys or forgot lullabies,
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous,
I had never been puked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed on, peed on, or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom;
I never thought about immunizations,
I never held a screaming child so the doctors could give shots,
I never looked into teary eyes and cried,
I never felt my heart break into pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt,
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

Before I was a Mom;
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down,
I never sat up late hours of the night watching a baby sleep,
I never got up in the middle of the night to make sure everything was okay,
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

Before I was a Mom;
I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts and my body,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside of my body,
I didn't know that having something so small could make me feel so important,
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a mom.

Before I was a Mom;
I never knew that something so small could effect my life so much,
I never knew that I could love someone so much,
I never knew I would love being a Mom,
I didn't know the bond between a Mother and her child,
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much.

Mckel read me this Poem just after Av was born and I remember her getting teary eyed reading it. I remember that I liked the poem but I wasn't a mom and had never felt these things. I thought about this Poem a few weeks after I had Connly and I looked it up and I cried reading it.I now know that all of it is so true. Days go by so fast now and I love spending every minute with Connly. It's not easy to be a mom. Its a lot of work and not a lot of sleep but ITS SO WORTH IT. I can't imagine my life without Connly. I can't get enough of him. I love the sweet spirit you bring to our home Connly. I love you so much little guy!